Attempt 002 at Everyday Mama - Shit gets real

Let's talk shit. I saw a lot of it today. In fact one of the things I wake up to these days is not a hot cuppa coffee or the newspaper. I wake up and ask Dada K three questions about Baby A's poop - Colour, consistency and how much shit was there? This is how we romance in the morning, we talk poop. I'm quiet enjoying this to be honest because it allows me to apply a lot of research and come out with theories. But today was different. We saw poop that was rather worrisome and we had to rush to the hospital (could have totally avoided this) and there were tears as always. But through all of this, hero of the hour, our very own Baby A kept grinning like a toothless 80 year old monk and I have got to say that it cheered me on and gave me much needed reassurance. 

As a new mother I spend most part of my days wondering and scrambling for positive thoughts. Mostly thoughts that help me feel like I have got this shit (also the actual shit). I text friends who are mothers with more experience, go through posts on social media forums and even talk to my very own mother. But none of these things have truly uplifted me. One giggle and a tight cuddle for this sunshine of a boy does the magic. Maybe that's why I would hate myself even more if he feel sick. 

No matter how many times you tell a new mother that she cannot put pressure on herself, it doesn't come easy. I'm not saying this by way of conditioning but it is an innate feeling. I wash and prep his clothes with utmost care - cloth diapers without liquid detergent, clothes with antiseptic and organic, no fragrance laundry powder  made of pixie dust (joking. Why wait is that available on Amazon?), give him monitored tummy time, plenty of sitting practice ( I didn't even know babies needed this) and so much more. While all of this seems like work/chores that could break your spine, to me its a big Mama win. The very same day when I have a had a huge win, Baby A falls sick and everything goes back to right where it began. I feel like a new mother on day one holding her baby and not knowing whats in store. But only this time (about a 100th time), I feel a little bit more confident and positive thanks to my four month old monk who shares his toothless wisdom everyday. 

It took Edison a 1000 attempts and I'm somewhere on my way there. 

Baby A - 1. Mama P - 0. 


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