The Honest Mama Project

About five months into my pregnancy I started following many "successful" mothers on social media that made parenting seem so easy, especially parenting a new born. But that's not even the catch, they also made occasional posts about how it's AK-OK to lose your mind and not feel guilty. This made me feel so much better after having Baby A around. I went back to these posts every time I needed some reassurance or just validation. However, today was different. I saw a post on Why sleep routines are harsh on new born babies in a Gentle Parenting page. This triggered me. Before I get to the 5Ws and 1H of my feelings, let me give you a sense of our bitter, bitter morning from today. Baby A has stared rolling over. In fact he has been doing that for two months now. It was such a joy to watch him do it at first and it continues to be even today. It is a significant milestone that just fills my heart with warmth every time I watch him roll over. BUT. BUT he has started doing ...

I know you have heard this way too many times but it still holds good right? I had this hammered into my head somewhere when I was feeding Baby A in the night or maybe morning (I couldn't really say). That's the thing, it is at a time when night blurs into morning that you feel lonely and vulnerable. It is at times when the baby is crying and no matter how close you hold him/her to your heart their whole body just wont stop turning red. Like they are hurting really bad and you feel helpless. It is at times when you carry them at 2:00 AM in the morning, comforting them back to sleep. It is at times when they are teething and you have to nurse their pain stifling yours. No one  warns you that you are going to motor on this solo trip for a lifetime.   Baby A and I had a rather tough week and weekend. Sleep regression, poop problems, ant bites and a scorching sun. Just when I thought I had a major motherhood win with his sleep routine, everything just went downhill last week....

So I did a bit of research (Wikipedia basically) and found out that Mari Kondo is a mother. Now how is this information relevant to my life or any mother for that matter? Hell we are all Mari Kondos without a fancy Netlix show, few billion bucks and zero social media validation for our laundry organizing skills. (Can I put that on my resume when I rejoin work? ) Nevertheless, I'm sure most mothers spend every minute of their blissful baby sleep minutes folding laundries. Its like god dropped a Diva in your house who decides to swap styles  every hour. Actually if I re-do the math its two sets of clothes, four sets of cloth diapers and one piece of burp cloth every two hours. Now this is variable (just like the peanut salary most working mothers are paid for) from one house hold to another. However, a pile of clothes is a pile of clothes that seems like a mountain.  But like every motherhood win, this pile of laundry has taught me more about organizing than my work life and thi...

Let's talk shit. I saw a lot of it today. In fact one of the things I wake up to these days is not a hot cuppa coffee or the newspaper. I wake up and ask Dada K three questions about Baby A's poop - Colour, consistency and how much shit was there? This is how we romance in the morning, we talk poop. I'm quiet enjoying this to be honest because it allows me to apply a lot of research and come out with theories. But today was different. We saw poop that was rather worrisome and we had to rush to the hospital (could have totally avoided this) and there were tears as always. But through all of this, hero of the hour, our very own Baby A kept grinning like a toothless 80 year old monk and I have got to say that it cheered me on and gave me much needed reassurance.  As a new mother I spend most part of my days wondering and scrambling for positive thoughts. Mostly thoughts that help me feel like I have got this shit (also the actual shit). I text friends who are mothers with more...

Sitting bang in the middle of a laundry pile and journaling away is a place I never imagined myself. Not just your regular laundry pile that sits in the corner of your room for so many days that it almost becomes a part of the room's aesthetics. This is a pile of diapers, cloth diapers. I have to say that people warned me  about the diapers when I announced my pregnancy. But now I know that the diapers are just a metaphor for the true mess that is motherhood.  Now don't come at me saying, Motherhood is a blessing and that I'm just being whinny. I'm only still learning. You know what else I'm learning about Motherhood? That it is one helluva ride backed by research, research and more research. It sounds scientific, but in reality it just a non-certified course from the University of Google Search. From mastering the art of cloth diapering (failed numerous times already), to picking the right high chair (do we even need one?) to dissecting baby's poop color, here ...